Yesterday my daughter gave me some dull responses after her friend had left following a joint homework session. I knew something was not right and went to talk to her. She said, with tears in those big, beautiful eyes, that her friend had pointed out how different they were, in a not very pleasant manner. That made my little one wonder if they could continue to be friends or not.
Usually when facing a situation like this, with my daughter or my friends, I refrain from giving any direct solutions or suggestions. I just share my experiences which I consider relevant. And so I told her about different types of friends I have. Most of us are very similar in most ways, we have common interests, or common views about important matters etc. But I do have many friends with whom there isn't much in common. Sometimes I myself even wonder how did we end up being such great friends, even though we are so different from each other. Different, not only in terms of our likings, or how we dress, or what we like to eat, etc., but also, different in some core values that we have. I have a friend who don't think marriage is an equal relationship and strongly believes husband to be far superior to wife. Someone who thinks education is just a tool to get a job, and if you have a guaranteed job prospect, there is no need to attend any college. And these are some things that I have very strong objections to.
So are we just acting as friends? Not at all. We truly like each other a lot, and can completely depend on each other. But we do understand that we both come from very very different backgrounds, upbringing, and worldly exposure. There is no pressure from either side for anyone to change. This understanding took some significant time to develop. And now we have a wonderful bond inspite of our differences.
This is just one example. I have many friends with such varied backgrounds, and that's what enriches my life too. Love and hugs to ALL my friends.
p.s : Needless to say, my daughter seems to have found her answer to her situation too.
Usually when facing a situation like this, with my daughter or my friends, I refrain from giving any direct solutions or suggestions. I just share my experiences which I consider relevant. And so I told her about different types of friends I have. Most of us are very similar in most ways, we have common interests, or common views about important matters etc. But I do have many friends with whom there isn't much in common. Sometimes I myself even wonder how did we end up being such great friends, even though we are so different from each other. Different, not only in terms of our likings, or how we dress, or what we like to eat, etc., but also, different in some core values that we have. I have a friend who don't think marriage is an equal relationship and strongly believes husband to be far superior to wife. Someone who thinks education is just a tool to get a job, and if you have a guaranteed job prospect, there is no need to attend any college. And these are some things that I have very strong objections to.
So are we just acting as friends? Not at all. We truly like each other a lot, and can completely depend on each other. But we do understand that we both come from very very different backgrounds, upbringing, and worldly exposure. There is no pressure from either side for anyone to change. This understanding took some significant time to develop. And now we have a wonderful bond inspite of our differences.
This is just one example. I have many friends with such varied backgrounds, and that's what enriches my life too. Love and hugs to ALL my friends.
p.s : Needless to say, my daughter seems to have found her answer to her situation too.
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